Luckily searching high was a good idea as I found loads of Funny Facebook Status Sayings so I gathered up all the Funny Facebook Status Sayings that I enjoyed and have listed them all below so do read them and feel free to use the Funny Facebook Status Sayings on your Facebook but only if you include a link to my website, anyways enjoy the Funny Facebook Status Sayings
Be nice to nerds. Who knows probably you will be working for them one day.
At the airport customs, if you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" never reply, "Why? What do you need?"
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired, I just put down the mirror. Simple!
I am proud of myself. I finished the puzzle in just 6 months while the box said 2 to 4 years.
Bought some batteries for my children as Christmas gift and it has a note that says 'toys not included'.
Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children.
A guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
I was thinking of merging MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it 'My Face You Twit'
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF... Best Facebook Friend Forever.
We have so much in common. You want to travel,I want you to go .
I live in my own little world, but it's OK — they know me there.
When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars. When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called an election.
Wonders if you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
As u grow older your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
My take home pay doesn’t even take me home.
Always listen to your wife, she gives sound advice : 99% Sound and 1% Advice.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me!
I'm a light eater. When it gets light, I start eating.
I have a weight problem (I can't wait to start eating!!!)
I must say I really have enjoyed these Funny Facebook Status Sayings and may use a few to try and get a few new friends. Anyways if you enjoyed the Funny Facebook Status Sayings then click that like button, add my link to your Facebook so your friends can find me and do please bookmark Quotes And Sayings as I intend to return with loads more Quotes and Sayings just like todays Funny Facebook Status Sayings.